So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
