Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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