Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
operation have a gay friend backfired
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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