3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
