So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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