So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
