i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
