my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
