with your own penis?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
