Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you made out with another girl for some wings
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
