He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
