addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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