wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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