you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
