Moan for me like Helen Keller
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
