I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
