we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
