organizing the empties. That sober.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
