I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
