i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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