No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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