Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize