I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
