i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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