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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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