is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
