would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize