Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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