would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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