Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
