Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
