I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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