This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
