Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
