Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
