Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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