she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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