It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
