My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
