I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize