You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
