get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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