I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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