Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im holly from the hills drunk
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
