I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize