Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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