yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
