I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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