Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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