I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
