Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
