craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
