singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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