My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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