My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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