Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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