You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize