My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
