Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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