i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
