how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
