You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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