Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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