is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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