He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
