Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize