Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
